Week 3 Picks

Look what happens. I don’t watch any Week 1 games and officiating is a non-issue, the Redskins win, summer is still in full swing everyone’s happy. In Week 2, I made the mistake of watching the games and the refs ruined just about every game, the Redskins lost in an annoying manner, it started getting cold and I assume everyone is just a little bit more depressed. Football, I hate you (I’ll see you on Sunday).

The real big issue from last week was the refs. They basically decided to make their own rules regarding illegal contact and pass interference, they didn’t fully grasp the challenge system, and they exerted no control over the games (you know it gets bad when Cortland Finnegan is praising the replacement refs – that would basically be like AIDS complimenting what a good job replacement condoms are doing). And yet still the NFL is going Taylor Swift all over the refs and sticking by their ‘We are never ever ever ever getting back together’ stance.

Last Week: 7-7-2
Season: 17-13-2
Lock of the Week: 2-0

Home team in CAPS

Giants (+2.5) over PANTHERS
I almost forgot about this game again. I was all set to sit down and watch some sort of horrible movie and fall asleep on Thursday afternoon before realizing this game was today and I needed to get my picks out. Of course ‘needed’ is a strong word as maybe 30 people actually read this. Anyways, not ready to favor the Panthers here yet. Sure, they beat the Saints, but so did the Redskins and they didn’t exactly follow that up by proving to be a powerhouse.

Rams (+7.5) over BEARS

"I'm a huge baby"

The Rams are… not terrible. That’s the compliment I’m willing to give them at this point in the season. It will be interesting to see what they do in their first game against a real defense. I’ll obviously be pulling for them just because it increases the chance Jay Cutler will hit one of his offensive linemen in the back with a chair during a huddle.

Buccaneers (+7.5) over COWBOYS
The same Cowboys that looked like shit against the Seahawks last week right? Tony Romo over the Bucs team that has shown it knows how to create turnovers? Um, no thanks.

49ers (-7) over VIKINGS
“Take this down. My name is Jeff Briggs, and the San Francisco 49ers are the motherfucking truth.”

Lions (-3.5) over TITANS
While the 49ers might be the truth the Titans are the opposite of that, the lie? The false? Whatever it is, they are terrible. CJ2K has 21 yards on 19 carries. They rank last in rushing yards and third to last in rushing yards allowed.

REDSKINS (-3) over Bengals
There will almost assuredly by over 600 yards of passing in this game. The Bengals let Brandon Weeden go off on them and the Redskins defense lost two of its best players (Carriker and Orakpo) for the season and already sucked before that.

Jets (-2.5) over DOLPHINS
The Dolphins beat the Raiders and are now favored in a game. This is not the Raiders from last year that was a decent team; the Dolphins do not deserve credit for that win. Miami does tend to play the Jets close, but I’m taking the team that has proved basically nothing over the team that has proved absolutely nothing.

SAINTS (-9) over Chiefs
How bad must Kansas City be for them to be nine-point-underdogs against a 0-2 team and for me to not consider taking them for even one second?

Bills (-3) over BROWNS
Ugh, pass.

COLTS (-3) over Jaguars
The Jaguars have a ridiculously easy schedule and could still finish with less than two wins on the season.

CARDINALS (+3.5) over Eagles
I understand not giving the Cardinals any respect. I certainly didn’t give them any heading into last week, but it’s hard to make a 2-0 home team that just beat the Patriots in New England an underdog by more than a field goal.

Falcons (+3) over CHARGERS
These Chargers are already filling the role they fill best. Beat up on terrible opponents, get people thinking you are good, and then lose when you play a team that actually understands what a football is and how to use one.

BRONCOS (+2) over Texans
I do think Houston is good, one of the top teams in the AFC, but like San Diego they have only played against garbage and warmed up garbage. They are getting too much respect here.

Steelers (+4) over RAIDERS
Lock of the Week
Oh the Raiders. They were good last year so naturally they made the decision to fire everyone involved, change their scheme from something that was working and look like those Raiders teams from 2003-2009 that were a never ending source of comedy. By the way, if you selected Darren McFadden and Chris Johnson with the first two picks of your fantasy draft, you have my permission to chew your own toes off.


RAVENS (-3) push Patriots
The last time either of these teams had a losing record was Week 6 of the 2008 season, yet whoever loses this game will fall to 1-2. Oh, and that’s right, I’m calling for this game to be a push. The Ravens will be three, they win by two or four it will be a loss for me.

Packers (-3) over SEAHAWKS
It’s slightly possible that the Seahawks are for real and a force at home, but I’m not ready to give the Packers so few points. The Green Bay offense has looked slow and confused, either they get it going this game or it becomes a real issue. (I actually predict both in the long run, they’ll show up here but their offense is not going to be what it was in the past. It appears they miss Joe Philbin.)