Week 7: Nearing Death

Forgot about picks again! So now I'll select games in 10 minutes our less.

Last Week: 4-8-1
Season: 41-43-2
Lock of the Week: 3-3

Home team in CAPS

Bills (-4.5) over JAGUARS
RAMS (-6.5) over Browns
Steelers (+3) over CHIEFS
Texans (+4.5) over DOLPHINS
PATRIOTS (-7.5) over Jets
LIONS (+1.5) over Vikings
Falcons (-6) over TITANS
REDSKINS (-3) over Buccaneers
Saints (+4) over COLTS
Raiders (+4) over CHARGERS
GIANTS (-3) over Cowboys
PANTHERS (-3) over Eagles (Lock of the Week)
CARDINALS (-8.5) over Ravens

Week 6: Almost Forgot

Yep, ran out of time and almost didn't do picks at all. I'm quickly remembering why I was going to stop doing this, but I'm committed at this point to at least half-ass it through the rest of the season.

Last Week: 7-5-1
Season: 37-35-1
Lock of the Week: 3-2

Home team in CAPS

Broncos (-4) over BROWNS
Bengals (-3) over BILLS
VIKINGS (-3.5) over Chiefs
JAGUARS (-1) over Texans (Lock of the Week)
LIONS (-3) over Bears
JETS (-6.5) over Redskins
Cardinals (-3.5) over STEELERS
Dolphins (+1) over TITANS
SEAHAWKS (-7) over Panthers
PACKERS (-10.5) over Chargers
Ravens (-2) over 49ERS
Patriots (-9) over Colts
Giants (+5.5) over EAGLES

Hey almost all favorites, I'm sure that won't end terribly.

Week 5: Yes, It is Already Week 5

Somehow the NFL season already a quarter over. This should mean we have a good guess as to which teams are for real and which teams are terrible. Even more important, we should have some idea of which teams appear to be solid on the surface, but really are made of glass and are just waiting to shatter. I don't know the second part, but I do know that there are some good teams (Packers, Pats, Bengals, Broncos, Cardinals (I think)) and some really bad teams (Bears, 49ers, Dolphins, the NFC East, the AFC South, Jameis Winston).

Last week was my best week of the season, so naturally the only real bets I made were teasers that all lost. This week I’ll respond by making more bets and probably going 3-10.

Last Week: 9-5
Season: 30-30-1
Lock of the Week: 3-1

Home team in CAPS

Jaguars (+3) over BUCCANEERS
A battle for the best team in Florida? It is possible with the way Miami has soiled its pants this season.

TITANS (2.5) over Bills
When you have a pretty week offense to begin with it is hard to deal with a slew of injuries. Buffalo needs this game to prove it is not the same team it has been for the last several years and I think they’ll be able to get the win but the line is somewhat suspiciously low, leading me to bet on the Titans.

RAVENS (-6.5) over Browns
Lock of the Week
Seems like the time for the Ravens to rattle off a few wins, perhaps by large margins before reminding us that they aren’t very good again once they get back into the playoff picture.

FALCONS (-7.5) over Redskins
I don’t think it is possible at this moment in time for Washington to play back-to-back good football games. Also, Atlanta is by far the best team they will have played to this point in the season.

Bears (+9) over CHIEFS
I do not like picking the Bears. I’ve suggested they are the worst team in the league and think that still may be true, but Andy Reid by 9 seems like a lot of points.

EAGLES (-5) over Saints
If New Orleans can barely beat Branden Weeden in the Superdome, they probably can’t beat anyone away from the Superdome.

PACKERS (-9) over Rams
Green Bay is one of three teams 4-0 against the spread this year. Keep riding the hot hand.

BENGALS (-3) over Seahawks
Cincinnati is another one of those teams. And Seattle has been struggle street on the road to this point.

Cardinals (-2.5) over LIONS
Devastating loss for the Lions last Monday, but the Cardinals should rebound here after a poor performance last week.

Patriots (-8.5) over COWBOYS
Broncos (-4.5) over RAIDERS
Still probably the best two teams in the AFC, despite the fact that one of the two legendary QBs can barely throw his keys onto the coffee table.

GIANTS (-7) over 49ers
I don’t even think the Giants are very good, there is just no reason to pick the 49ers to do anything good. They are completely useless on offense. But hey, another great Sunday Night game. Good work NBC.

Steelers (+3) over CHARGERS
One of the worst rush defenses is favored against the best running back in the league, so I gotta pick Pittsburgh but there is a solid chance Mike Tomlin messes it up. His bungling of the Ravens game last week was on a Brad Childress/Romeo Crennel level.

Week 4: Clever Subtitle

I feel like I am constantly rehashing this, but that Thursday game was pure garbage. It was a simply a battle of which coach was going to fuck up least – but it was a close game that went into overtime, so most people are going to believe it was a good game.

Last week I had my first terrible week of the season, so let's double those bets! Progressive betting!

Last Week: 6-10
Season: 21-25-1
Lock of the Week: 2-1

Home team in CAPS

Jets (-1.5) over DOLPHINS
Technically the Dolphins are the home team, but this game is in London. London games are just as stupid as Thursday games in my mind. But the Dolphins are garbage, so without home field I don’t like them against a Jets team that is at least competent.

Jaguars (+9) over COLTS
On the one hand the Jags made me regret ever picking them to cover any spread last week, but the Colts just barely squeeked by the Titans at home, so I’m not going to pick them to win anything by double digits.

FALCONS (-6.5) over Texans
In April, my friend bet me that the Falcons would win the NFC South. I’d get all 3 of the other teams. Crazy that only 3 weeks into the season I feel like he has locked up that bet.

Panthers (-3) over BUCCANEERS
Sure, the Panthers are also 3-0 and will likely be 4-0, but they’ve played against absolutely no one. Because the NFC South gets to play against the AFC South, they will produce two playoff teams and the Panthers will go to the playoffs for the third straight year. This will make them maybe the worst team to ever make the playoffs in three consecutive seasons (to be fair they were good 2 years ago).

BILLS (-5.5) over Giants
I’ve noticed people wearing Bills hats around DC the past few weeks. Outside of my two friends that are Bills fans, not sure I’d ever seen a piece of Bills gear over the past 10 years. I guess a bunch of people just moved from Buffalo to DC…

Raiders (-3) over BEARS
This game will tell us if the Bears are once-in-a-generation terrible, or just run-of-the-mill terrible.

REDSKINS (+3) over Eagles
Note to self: If Washington happens to win this game do not get excited and definitely do not pick them to win next week. Comment to self: What are you doing picking them to cover this spread? I can feel myself getting angry at myself as I write this.

BENGALS (-4) over Chiefs
I thought Andy Dalton was going to be the QB that collapsed into nothingness this year, appears that QB might actually be Alex Smith.

Browns (+7.5) over CHARGERS
I’m not taking San Diego to win by more than one score, not happening.

PACKERS (-8.5) over 49ers
Lock of the Week
Seems crazy to think that only two years ago the 49ers were the better team. They fell apart impressively quick.

Vikings (+7) over BRONCOS
Is it possible Peyton Manning could win a Super Bowl as a game manager QB? That’s his only chance now, but Denver’s defense might be good enough to pull it off. However, as you can see, I don’t trust in the Broncos yet.

CARDINALS (-7) over Rams
One team I do trust however is the Cardinals.

Cowboys (+4) over SAINTS
I bet NBC wishes they had flex scheduling this early in the season. Weeden! McCown! No, the other McCown! Sunday Night Football on NBC!

SEAHAWKS (-10) over Lions
Jim Caldwell stares blankly.