Week 4: Clever Subtitle

I feel like I am constantly rehashing this, but that Thursday game was pure garbage. It was a simply a battle of which coach was going to fuck up least – but it was a close game that went into overtime, so most people are going to believe it was a good game.

Last week I had my first terrible week of the season, so let's double those bets! Progressive betting!

Last Week: 6-10
Season: 21-25-1
Lock of the Week: 2-1

Home team in CAPS

Jets (-1.5) over DOLPHINS
Technically the Dolphins are the home team, but this game is in London. London games are just as stupid as Thursday games in my mind. But the Dolphins are garbage, so without home field I don’t like them against a Jets team that is at least competent.

Jaguars (+9) over COLTS
On the one hand the Jags made me regret ever picking them to cover any spread last week, but the Colts just barely squeeked by the Titans at home, so I’m not going to pick them to win anything by double digits.

FALCONS (-6.5) over Texans
In April, my friend bet me that the Falcons would win the NFC South. I’d get all 3 of the other teams. Crazy that only 3 weeks into the season I feel like he has locked up that bet.

Panthers (-3) over BUCCANEERS
Sure, the Panthers are also 3-0 and will likely be 4-0, but they’ve played against absolutely no one. Because the NFC South gets to play against the AFC South, they will produce two playoff teams and the Panthers will go to the playoffs for the third straight year. This will make them maybe the worst team to ever make the playoffs in three consecutive seasons (to be fair they were good 2 years ago).

BILLS (-5.5) over Giants
I’ve noticed people wearing Bills hats around DC the past few weeks. Outside of my two friends that are Bills fans, not sure I’d ever seen a piece of Bills gear over the past 10 years. I guess a bunch of people just moved from Buffalo to DC…

Raiders (-3) over BEARS
This game will tell us if the Bears are once-in-a-generation terrible, or just run-of-the-mill terrible.

REDSKINS (+3) over Eagles
Note to self: If Washington happens to win this game do not get excited and definitely do not pick them to win next week. Comment to self: What are you doing picking them to cover this spread? I can feel myself getting angry at myself as I write this.

BENGALS (-4) over Chiefs
I thought Andy Dalton was going to be the QB that collapsed into nothingness this year, appears that QB might actually be Alex Smith.

Browns (+7.5) over CHARGERS
I’m not taking San Diego to win by more than one score, not happening.

PACKERS (-8.5) over 49ers
Lock of the Week
Seems crazy to think that only two years ago the 49ers were the better team. They fell apart impressively quick.

Vikings (+7) over BRONCOS
Is it possible Peyton Manning could win a Super Bowl as a game manager QB? That’s his only chance now, but Denver’s defense might be good enough to pull it off. However, as you can see, I don’t trust in the Broncos yet.

CARDINALS (-7) over Rams
One team I do trust however is the Cardinals.

Cowboys (+4) over SAINTS
I bet NBC wishes they had flex scheduling this early in the season. Weeden! McCown! No, the other McCown! Sunday Night Football on NBC!

SEAHAWKS (-10) over Lions
Jim Caldwell stares blankly.