As we enter week 5 of the season I have yet to be home for an entire Sunday and just watched football all day long. I’ve been close, but I have not been home from 1-8 yet on any day. And you know what? I haven’t missed it.
So my passion for football is waning and I rarely bet actual money on games anymore, but I think you should still read my picks because really, what else are you going to do? Be productive at your job? I doubt it.
Last week: 9-6
Lock of the week: 1-3
Season: 26-35-2
Home team in CAPS
Bills (+3.5) over BROWNS
As with most Thursday games, no one should watch this game. I may not watch another Thursday night game until the Redskins play on Nov. 7. My viewership of this game aside, somehow the winner will be 3-2. Yes, either the Buffalo Bills or Cleveland Browns will have a winning record.
Oh right, Ryan Fitzpatrick is starting.
Chiefs (-3) over TITANS
Ravens (+3) over DOLPHINS
I finally decide to respect the Dolphins last week and they do what I had been waiting for them to do the first three weeks. My mistake Miami, you are who I thought you were.
RAMS (-11.5) over Jaguars
This line is silly. The Rams are NOT a good football team and yet they are favored by double-digit points because Jacksonville is just beyond bad. I’m not sure what line Vegas could make that would be big enough for me to place money on Jacksonville. I would pick them if they were given 20 points (again, this is to the Rams, a bad team), but I would not feel comfortable about it in any way.
At this point can’t Jacksonville just give in and sign Tim Tebow? While they are at it can they sign Brett Favre too? Just put those two guys out there and watch them “have fun” and “be leaders” and “know how to win.” After it doesn’t get much more football and America than Brett Favre and Tim Tebow.
Sure, I know what you are saying, no team runs two QBs at the same time. And one of these guys is too old and the other is not very good. But if anyone can make it work it is these two, right? I mean, they are winners. America! Jesus! Football! Gunslinging! Dedication! Tears! Playing the game the right way!
Patriots (+1) over BENGALS
Lock of the Week
The Bengals beat the Packers and then followed that up with a loss to the Browns. Marvin Lewis has never made sense. Maybe they’ll beat the Pats by 15, maybe they’ll get shut out. I don’t know. All I do know about the Bengals is that if they make the playoffs, they will lose in the first round.
Seahawks (-3) over COLTS
I’ll start by saying that I think the Seahawks have been the best team in the NFC to this point. They are unbeatable at home, I have no doubt in that, but I’m still not 100% sold on their ability on the road. They really should have lost last week in Houston, but they somehow stole that game. I would not be 100% shocked if they lost to the Colts. That said, the Seahawks are still 4-0 against the spread and I’ll keep picking them at least until they are 9-0 and favored in Atlanta.
PACKERS (-7) over Lions
Don’t bet on the Packers or the Lions. Do bet on the over (53.5 points).
BEARS (even) over Saints
Before we get caught up in how good the Saints have looked, let’s remember that they have played three out of four games at home. In their one game on the road they nearly lost to the train wreck that is the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
Eagles (+2) over GIANTS
If the Giants can’t score on the Eagles, then it is all over for them. The last two weeks I've thought the Giants are gonna snap out of it and been burned. Do I still think that this week? Maybe a part of me, but I can in no way justify picking them again at this point (unless of course they were playing the Jags).
Panthers (-2) over CARDINALS
Chargers (-4) over RAIDERS
I choose not to write about these games. I feel good about my decision.
Broncos (-7.5) over COWBOYS
NFC East! 8-8 looking more and more like a division winning record.
49ERS (-6.5) over Texans
49er safety Donte Whitner has changed his name to Donte Hitner. This is like 5% funny, 2% cool, and 93% stupid, but I bet it gains him fame and makes him money, so I guess good work? Terrible joke time -Matt Schaub should change his name to Matt Inopportune Time to Throw an Interceptionaub.
FALCONS (-10) over Jets
Atlanta is 1-3 and desperately need to beat the crap out of someone to both make themselves feel better and to show that they are still a contender. Enter the New York Jets.
The Bengals beat the Packers and then followed that up with a loss to the Browns. Marvin Lewis has never made sense. Maybe they’ll beat the Pats by 15, maybe they’ll get shut out. I don’t know. All I do know about the Bengals is that if they make the playoffs, they will lose in the first round.
Seahawks (-3) over COLTS
I’ll start by saying that I think the Seahawks have been the best team in the NFC to this point. They are unbeatable at home, I have no doubt in that, but I’m still not 100% sold on their ability on the road. They really should have lost last week in Houston, but they somehow stole that game. I would not be 100% shocked if they lost to the Colts. That said, the Seahawks are still 4-0 against the spread and I’ll keep picking them at least until they are 9-0 and favored in Atlanta.
PACKERS (-7) over Lions
Don’t bet on the Packers or the Lions. Do bet on the over (53.5 points).
BEARS (even) over Saints
Before we get caught up in how good the Saints have looked, let’s remember that they have played three out of four games at home. In their one game on the road they nearly lost to the train wreck that is the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
Eagles (+2) over GIANTS
If the Giants can’t score on the Eagles, then it is all over for them. The last two weeks I've thought the Giants are gonna snap out of it and been burned. Do I still think that this week? Maybe a part of me, but I can in no way justify picking them again at this point (unless of course they were playing the Jags).
Panthers (-2) over CARDINALS
Chargers (-4) over RAIDERS
I choose not to write about these games. I feel good about my decision.
Broncos (-7.5) over COWBOYS
NFC East! 8-8 looking more and more like a division winning record.
49ERS (-6.5) over Texans
49er safety Donte Whitner has changed his name to Donte Hitner. This is like 5% funny, 2% cool, and 93% stupid, but I bet it gains him fame and makes him money, so I guess good work? Terrible joke time -Matt Schaub should change his name to Matt Inopportune Time to Throw an Interceptionaub.
FALCONS (-10) over Jets
Atlanta is 1-3 and desperately need to beat the crap out of someone to both make themselves feel better and to show that they are still a contender. Enter the New York Jets.
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