Week 15: The Redskins Are Sad

Of all the things I might have guessed about the Redskins this year, I don’t think I would have predicted they would appear at perhaps their most dysfunctional ever. I mentioned this some last week, but at this point nothing would surprise me with them. And as they slide further into some sort of twilight zone alternate dimension of reality I remain a fan, but I have almost completely removed myself from caring. Watching Redskins games is more like a comedy of errors than a sporting event. What sort of tragedy will befall them next?

So, with my lifelong favorite team in ruins I turn elsewhere, to gambling and fantasy sports and the Wizards of basketball to satisfy my desire to cheer for things that will disappoint me, because the Redskins are so far gone they are not capable of evoking disappointment.

Last week: 7-8-1
Lock of the week: 8-6
Season: 99-106-2

Home team in CAPS

RAMS (-4.5) over Cardinals

The Rams have posted two straight shut outs. The Cardinals are much better than the Raiders and Redskins collectively, but still they aren’t good enough to stop what the Rams are doing right now.

CHIEFS (-10) over Raiders

Kansas City lost to Oakland three weeks ago, so the Chiefs will be looking to make a statement and get revenge. Plus, after Oakland’s last win they were completely lifeless the next week. I expect the Raiders to be a bit too happy with themselves and the Chiefs to be fired up.

RAVENS (-13.5) over Jaguars

I already dislike myself for picking two straight double-digit point favorites. BUT, the Jags are 0-3-1 against the spread as double-digit dogs and 0-9-1 against the spread when getting five or more points. That is crazy, when Vegas thinks the Jags will lose big, they lose REALLY big.

FALCONS (+2.5) over Steelers

You can’t figure Pittsburgh out. Don’t try to. I picked the Falcons here because the Steelers losing to someone they should beat and losing their playoff spot as a result seems like the right outcome for this team.

COLTS (-6.5) over Texans

Possibly my least favorite game on the board this week. My gut says the Colts are considerably better, but the Texans have been good against the spread all year and the line movement also favors Houston. I’ll go with my gut here, but stay away with my money.

Bengals (+1) over BROWNS

I don’t believe in Johnny Football, especially against a defense that is capable of creating pressure and forcing the quarterback to make quick decisions.

PATRIOTS (-7.5) over Dolphins

It is so hard to bet against the Patriots at home late in the season. So hard that I will not do it.

Buccaneers (+3) over PANTHERS

Tampa Bay gets to face Derek Anderson twice this year. Too bad for them they are Tampa Bay so it doesn’t really matter who they are facing, but they’ll even out to a 1-1 record against him on the year.

GIANTS (-6.5) over Redskins
Lock of the Week

I don’t envision any possible way in which things can go well for the Redskins. They could start any one of their three quarterbacks and I don’t think the team even has any idea who the starter will be. That is not the best way to get prepared for a game. But if RG3 gets the start that seems like a clear sign that Gruden is on his way out after one year. Is it time to get excited and/or nervous about the Art Briles Redskins?

BILLS (+5) over Packers

Green Bay is not great at covering on the road and the Bills have covered three straight games looking pretty good. The biggest reason to bet on Buffalo is that all the public is betting on Green Bay and yet the line is still shrinking.

LIONS (-8) over Vikings

Since Jim Caldwell is an offensive coach, or possibly a statue, I think Teryl Austin should be getting a lot more praise. The Lions have the top ranked scoring defense and the second ranked defense in yardage with a first year defensive coordinator taking over for established NFL defensive minds.

Jets (-2) over TITANS

Gross

Broncos (-4) over CHARGERS

With San Diego’s tough schedule and Pittsburgh’s Pittsburghery I see both of those teams falling out of the playoffs, but I ran through the playoff scenario generator and find it very hard for both of them to miss out unless the Chiefs win out, which I also see as unlikely.

SEAHAWKS (-10) over 49ers

Seattle is back and they will probably win the Super Bowl.

EAGLES (-3) over Cowboys

So Dallas won’t go down in quick the flaming wreck that I imagined, but them just missing the playoffs will be a nice consolation prize.

Saints (-3) over BEARS

I said after the Saints needed overtime to beat Tampa in week 5 that I wouldn’t pick them again this season. Chicago sucks so hard that I have to go back on that word.