Week 12 - Someone Terrible Will Make the Playoffs

A terrible team will make the NFL playoffs. That shouldn’t really be a surprise, there is a double-digit underdog in the first round of the playoffs with relative frequency. This year, that team will be the second AFC wild card. For perspective on how bad the second AFC wild card will be, the Jacksonville Jaguars are currently only four games out of that playoff spot.

If the playoffs started today (dumb statement that gets used far too often, because clearly the playoffs do not start today, but I’m using it all the same) the Jets would travel to New England for a first round game. Granted, the Jets only lost by three when they played the Pats on the road earlier this season and actually defeated them at home, so maybe that wouldn’t be such a terrible game.

Also in the hunt: Dolphins (5-5), Steelers (4-6), Ravens (4-6), Browns (4-6), Titans (4-6), Chargers (4-6), and Raiders (4-6). That is eight teams all within one game of one another for one playoff spot.

Final record predictions: Jets (8-8), Dolphins (7-9), Steelers (7-9), Ravens (7-9 – and they’ll look like they’ve turned a corner at 7-6 before losing three straight to end the season), Titans (7-9), Browns (6-10), Raiders (6-10), Chargers (6-10).

While the AFC is stuck with the suck off for its sixth and final spot, the NFC actually has some exciting playoff races. Unfortunately for them, there will almost assuredly be a 10-6 team that misses the playoffs.

Among the tight NFC playoff races is the NFC East, but let’s call that over because I think we all know the Giants will go 10-6 and make it to the Super Bowl in New York. It is going to happen.

Last week: 5-7-3
Lock of the Week: 2-8-1
Season: 69-87-7

Home team in CAPS

Saints (-9.5) over FALCONS
I absolutely think this line is too high, but I can’t in good conscious pick the Falcons again after so many weeks in a row of them burning me.

LIONS (-9) over Buccaneers
How many games in a row would Greg Schiano need to win for his job to be safe? I think even if the Bucs finished the season on an eight game winning streak, he still has a good chance of being fired.

Jaguars (+10) over TEXANS
Last week I said the Texans shouldn’t be favored by a touchdown over anyone. Then they go out and lose by five to Matt McGloin and the Raiders, yet somehow they are favored by 10 points this week. Fun fact about the Texans, they have allowed the fewest yards of any defense in the NFL, but somehow have also allowed the fifth most points.

Vikings (+4.5) over PACKERS
Finally we will get the answer to the age old question – who is a better quarterback Christian Ponder or Scott Tolzien. The sad news for the Vikings is that they are playing Ponder by choice, while the Packers are playing Tolzien out of necessity.

CHIEFS (-5) over Chargers

Lock of the Week
San Diego is terrible on the road and the Chiefs are still a good team. I imagine after getting shown up last week, the Chiefs defensive line will absolutely wreck shit against Rivers and the Chargers.

Panthers (-4.5) over DOLPHINS
I now believe in the Panthers, so apologies Panthers for the run of losses you are about to go on because I believed in you.

BROWNS (-2) over Steelers
I will ride the home team in AFC North matchups until it does not work.

Bears (+1) over RAMS
The Bears are just an all-around better team with a much better offense than the Rams.

RAVENS (-3.5) over Jets
I’m at odds because this is the Jets turn to win a game, but they only have one win on the road this season and for the most part have been terrible away from New York. I’ll go against the somewhat meaningless trend and pay attention to the fact that seems slightly more football related.

RAIDERS (even) over Titans
There are playoff implications in a game between Matt McGloin and Ryan Fitzpatrick. What the hell is wrong with the AFC?

CARDINALS (-2.5) over Colts
I want nothing to do with putting real money on this game.

GIANTS (-2.5) over Cowboys
New York in the New York Super Bowl! Since I’ve resigned myself to the fact that this travesty will happen, I have two requests. Please, please don’t have the Super Bowl be Giants vs. Jets or Giants vs. Patriots. I can’t handle it.

PATRIOTS (+2.5) over Broncos
I will take Tom Brady and points at home every single time. Do you know the last time the Patriots were home underdogs? November 7, 2005 – against? Yep, Peyton Manning.

49ers (-5.5) over REDSKINS
I learned my lesson about picking the Redskins.